The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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