Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
