You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
