This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
