The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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