I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
