Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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