I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize