My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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