the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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