I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
