thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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