When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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