Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
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we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
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Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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