Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize