I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
