Duck Duck Cougar?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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