i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
