I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
