3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
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