I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
In America we eat man semen.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
