I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
