She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
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did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
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If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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