Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
