When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
not ubering you a puppy
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
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