we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
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Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
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She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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