it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
