we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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