She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
