What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
