She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize