omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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