I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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