come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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