she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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