were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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