If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
