Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
