I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
