I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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