But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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