the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
