you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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