i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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