I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
