I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
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