I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
