Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
