you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
