We got so high we made milksteak
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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