just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
