i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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