i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
