We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
