I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
