I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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