Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
