I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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