We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
