Fuck appropriateness.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You did what with his pubic hair?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
